lost love // pet sympathy
IN A YEAR filled with so much unspeakable suffering and loss, it feels almost trite to mourn so deeply the loss of a pet. But our sweet Murray dog was by our side, day in and day out for 13 years. He was our first baby, our fur baby and unbeknownst to him, the funniest member of our family (by far the naughtiest of all of my boys too, but we’ll forgive him that).
HE HAD a super amazing giant, toothy grin that brought a smile to everyone who witnessed it; even the grouchiest strangers couldn’t keep a straight face. He did the very best happy dance for FAR longer than was called for so that even a random plumber left feeling like the king of the universe. He once snatched an entire homemade apple pie off the counter mid-Thanksgiving dinner and devoured the whole thing. As a pup, he hopped onto my mother-in-law’s dining room table and drank a full glass of sauvignon blanc. He used to ever-so-gently nibble each individual raspberry off of our backyard bushes until they were gone. He snored loudly. He tooted a lot. In his golden years, he started gently plucking just the eyeballs out of every stuffed animal in the house. He always settled himself in one of our boys’ rooms at bedtime to watch over them both until he was sure they were asleep.
AND IN early December, on a sunny Tuesday, we learned that our seemingly healthy aging pup had an aggressive tumor that couldn’t be helped. A mere 4 days later we had to let him go. It was much too quick and much too soon and it absolutely gutted me. My heart was in pieces. I have ugly cried at the drop of a hat for a month straight. My poor boys still give me a glance anytime his name is mentioned to see if I’m going to burst into heaving sobs. I know all of you pet lovers out there feel me. He would’ve been 13 on Christmas day and we thought we had at least another 2 good years with our funny old guy.
THANK GOODNESS dear friends reminded me that I have full permission to mourn as deeply as I need to despite anyone else’s suffering, and so I have. Dear friends also gave us the most heartfelt and lovely gifts to commemorate our beloved pooch and I’ll always cherish them, in part because they so beautifully honor our guy, but also as a reminder of the awesome, loving community that we’re surrounded with.
ONE FRIEND brought us a tiny sneaker with Murray’s name on it because she’ll always remember him dancing around with a shoe gently clutched in his jaws, trying to smile wide with a mouth full of rubber. Another brought us gorgeous, personalized wind chimes that are meant to remind us that he’s always nearby. My boys made ornaments with his picture on them just hours after he passed as a way to deal with the grief and I’ll treasure them forever. Another dear friend’s incredibly talented daughter drew a stunning, tender portrait of Murray that so beautifully captures him that I just want to hug it. We were given personalized ornaments and drawings and flowers and deeply heartfelt notes. They are such a gift in every sense of the word.
MY UGLY crying episodes are fewer and further between these days, but the hole in my heart is still gaping and I don’t expect it to fill anytime soon. I will learn to live with it and hopefully one day will be able to smile and well up with sweet memories instead of a torrent of tears when I feel it. In the meantime, I made a little Murray shrine on the messy board where I keep little treasures so that I can see him every time I pass by.
BELOW ARE some ideas for lovely things that commemorate lost loved fur babies in case you love someone who could use one. Etsy is an amazing resource for these kinds of special, personal gifts. Your own handmade gifts are also incredibly heartfelt (garden stones, drawings or paintings, kind notes). For our own part, we made a donation to our local humane society in Murray’s name; you could do the same to a similar organization that rescues or cares for animals. If you’ve given or received other things that touched your heart, please leave a note and tell us about it. And hug your pups extra tight today for me. xo
1. Sweet custom painting of your pooch on a sliced wood ornament via Etsy // 2. The personalized sneaker we were given via Etsy // 3. Pretty “look for me in the rainbows” prism sun-catcher via Etsy // 4. Custom foiled portrait via Etsy // 5. Crown & Paw custom canvases are a sweet, lighthearted way to commemorate your pup // 6. As are these West & Willow custom portraits // 7. Hand-poured personalized garden stone via Etsy // 8. Handmade embroidery hoop “portrait” // 9. Proceeds from this “I hear you in the wind” chime feeds shelter dogs // 10. Personalized silver ring // 11. Super sweet felt ornament via Etsy // 12. The Trees Remember will plant a tree in a national forest in your doggie’s name // xo
